I Am Thankful For...The Lord's Timing

Everyone has been doing the whole "thankful" thing on FB for November, so I thought I'd get into the spirit ;)

One thing that I have been extremely grateful for in the past year is the Lord's timing.  It's something that I've not really been so excited about in the past, and I'm trying to keep that gratitude fresh on my mind so I don't forget!

I am a planner... I need to have things planned out in advance and I like to know how I'm going to get there, so sometimes it's really hard for me to let the details be up to the Lord.  For example:

I've wanted a baby since well... not incredibly long after we were married.  I knew it wasn't a great idea at the time (we had no jobs, were not very far along in our degrees, and were barely married), but I really couldn't help it, I'm pretty sure it's biology ;)  Finally, after a couple of years of being married, I had a baby down on our plan (yes, I actually have a written plan for our lives), and Karl had semi agreed to it.  Our first child was perfectly planned, he/she was going to be born in May 2012 a month after I graduated with my bachelors degree... And if it was a girl we were going to have her middle name be May, after her great-grandma, AND because she was born in May (isn't that so cute??).  And then, after I had finally come to terms with waiting and had my perfect plan in place, the answer came that we were supposed to have a baby...  My mind was blown.  I had a PLAN!  It was going to be great, I KNEW this was the way it was supposed to be!  Luckily I really wanted that baby so it wasn't TOO hard to convince me, haha!!

Anyway, I accepted that answer and started trying to work this baby into a new plan, but baby didn't come.  I took a few months before we finally got the news I had been waiting for.  So THAT was pretty confusing... I was assured that it was time, and yet I had more waiting to do.  I didn't know what to think about that!  If I had gotten pregnant as soon as we had gotten that answer, I would probably not have gone to school that fall (since baby would have been due right at the beginning/middle of the semester).  Instead, our baby was due right before finals... which didn't seem much better, but I felt like I should go to school that semester.  So I went to school.  It wasn't the easiest thing in the world, but it actually went pretty well, and was DEFINITELY easier than doing school with a baby!

Then we got to the end of the semester, and to Evie's due date, and she didn't come.  I was getting pretty nervous because I really needed to be able to take my finals, but I tried really hard to trust in the Lord's timing.  Finally Evie came, on Thursday, during one of my final presentations, and I had finals on Monday.  Turns out, that was probably the best day she could have come.  If she had come a day earlier, I wouldn't have gotten my final projects done in time, and if she had come a day later I wouldn't have had enough time to study for my finals.  And luckily, the teacher whose final presentation I missed liked me and his wife had a baby the semester before, so he was very nice about it :)  I studied and got through my finals just fine (Evie was sleepy enough that it wasn't a big deal to leave her to take them), and I managed to get all A's that semester!

Because I had a baby that December, I was on an online "birth board" and I actually met someone, who randomly was outgoing at told me she was an intern with this program for new moms in Utah County and was wondering if I wanted to be a part of it.  I talked to her more, and I found out that she was doing the same major as I was and they were looking for interns for the summer (right when I needed an internship!) and that the deadline was coming in up really quick.  I was kind of scared, but I REALLY needed an internship in order to graduate, and this seemed like it was right up my ally.  So I applied, interviewed, and I got it!

I started the internship, and I really liked it, but about half way through, I realized there was no way I could possibly get all 325 hours (bleh!) that I needed to graduate, so I had to ask if they would be willing to keep me on.  My supervisor was very excited to have me stay actually, so I was pretty happy with that.  I was disappointed that it was taking me so long though, I had planned to graduate this fall semester, and I just couldn't do as much as I wanted because I had a baby (who was not part of my plan!). Then, just before the end of the semester, my supervisor let me know that they would be able to pay me during fall, which was a complete lifesaver!  We weren't sure how Karl was going to work full time and go to school full time this semester, but this way he was able to drop a couple of his shifts at Chrysalis and it has been much easier for him.

I really don't think I'm explaining this well, but since we had Evie in December of 2011 (both much later and much earlier than I had planned) things have really been falling into place for us.  I have been so incredibly grateful, because through most of this year I haven't been able to see what the next step was, but we have trusted in the Lord and his timing, and it has worked out much better than I could ever have planned.  It's been an amazing learning experience for me!

I am especially trying to remember this lesson, because I'm having some major timing issues suddenly popping up in my life.  I was actually offered a position with the program I was interning with, and I really wanted to take it.  I said that I was most likely going to take it when I was first asked about it, I wasn't even going to ponder and pray about this decision because this just seemed to perfect!!  But then I had my doubts, and sure enough, I had to turn the position down.  I'm still a little sad about that, but I'm trying my best to be trusting.  This will give me the most time to work on my final 2 classes I need to graduate and to spend focusing on Evie (who really needs me).

My second timing issue is our next baby.  No, we're not already working on the next one, but surprisingly enough, I did have the next one on the schedule already.  I've been trying to logically plan out when the best time to get pregnant would be considering all the factors.  Like I didn't learn my lesson the first time around...  Anyway, now the idea of me getting my masters degree has come up, and that completely throws a wrench in the baby plan.  I don't know how this one will pan out (we're still working out the details), but I am determined to let the Lord guide my future.

So... the point of ALL that rambling is that I am so grateful for the Lord's hand in my life, and I am dead-set and determined to let him guide my life more in the future.