The difference between boys and girls...

My women's health teacher read us this story in class today and I thought it was funny, so I decided to share :D The Story of Roger and Elaine By Dave Barry Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: ''Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?'' And then there is silence in the car.  To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of. And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months. And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? And Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . . let's see... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means . . . lemme check the odometer . . . Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here. And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected. And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a goddamn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600. And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure. And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs. And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy. And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a goddamn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their.... . "'Roger,'' Elaine says aloud. ''What?'' says Roger, startled ''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. ''Maybe I should never have . .Oh God, I feel so.....'' (She breaks down, sobbing.) ''What?'' says Roger.  ''I'm such a fool,'' Elaine sobs. ''I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.'' ''There's no horse?'' says Roger. ''You think I'm a fool, don't you?'' Elaine says. ''No!'' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer. ''It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time,'' Elaine says. (There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.) ''Yes,'' he says. (Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.) ''Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?'' she says. ''What way?'' says Roger. ''That way about time,'' says Elaine. ''Oh,'' says Roger. ''Yes.'' (Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.) ''Thank you, Roger,'' she says. ''Thank you,'' says Roger. Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car. But he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either. Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: ''Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?'

Blogger Blabber

Okay, time to get on my soap-box… Well, I don’t actually have a soap-box that can support my weight (where do people get those?? What kind of soap do these people buy??), so I’ll just have to stand here and tell y’all about what’s bothering me. 

Now, I guess I don’t really count as a true “blogger” since I update my blog about once a month, and maybe I don’t quite understand the issues. However, I’ve been reading some peoples' blogs and there is something that is really bothering me. The number one biggest thing that I have a problem with is people sharing intimate details about problems or things in their relationship with their “significant other” on a blog that half the world can read. Since I’ve been married I’ve realized that there are certain things that you and your aforementioned significant other should keep private. Now, I’m not talking about just married people or just about sex here, I mean other things too!

If you are having problems in your relationship you should talk about it with each other, everyone else does not need to know about what's going on with you two. He/she deserves more respect than that. No matter what the problems are that you are having, he/she still deserves better than that. I didn’t realize what a big deal this is until I got married and was suddenly in a mature relationship. I wish people would think more about the things they say and to whom they say them. Words are powerful and what you say about someone will affect the way others see that person, possibly for a very, very long time. This is definitely one I’ve had to learn the hard way. Blogs are awesome, and sharing feelings and experiences is great, I just want people to be so careful!

I realize that I’m preaching to the choir here, but I just had to get that out there… 

*NOTE:  I should add that if you are in a emotionally/physically/etc. abusive relationship, definitely tell someone!  You probably still don't need to put it on your blog, but still, tell someone you trust so they can help you!!

My Favorite Thing

          If you know me very well at all (and I'm assuming you do if you happen to be reading this), then you know that I am incredibly indecisive!  Growing up I never had "favorites", which can be a real pain because part social etiquette when you are a kid includes sharing your favorite color, food, etc.  Being a little girl I liked pink, but pink wasn't my favorite color. I liked several shades of pink and also blues and purples.  Anyway, that's pretty irrelevant, but it's late and I tend to ramble when I get tired.  The point I am trying to make is that I have discovered a "favorite"!  As stupid as this may sound, it's a huge deal for me!!

          My favorite season is Fall.  I can now say that with out any indecision or uncertainty. I love it when it gets cool, but the sun is still there and it's not too cold.  I love the way the air smells. I love wearing a sweater and feeling perfect.  There's just something about it that makes me feel all good inside.  

          In the last few weeks there has been a definite "Fall" feeling in the air, and so I've been thinking about this kind of a lot.  My theory is that it's because it was fall when I first met Karl.  It was my first semester of college, my first time living away from home, and he was my first "real" boyfriend.  Everything was so exciting and new.  When the weather starts to get cooler and the leaves start to change colors, I start feeling all that old excitement.  It's like the season brings back a ton of memories.  Now if I could just get Winter to stay out of things until maybe December.... Haha

          Anyway, Fall also means school and I'm ACTUALLY supposed to be writing a paper right now, so I'd best get back to it.  Just thought I'd share my "ah-ha" moment ;)