It's so hard living in a community where so many people are having babies and not being able to have one yourself. I've wanted a baby since we first got married two years, five months, 3 weeks, and one day ago. I've been hoping and praying to be able to get pregnant for a long time, and I feel kind of like a failure. It's so hard to congratulate friend after friend after friend, see the happy statuses on facebook, and see the pictures of ultrasounds and newborns all over the place. I have 37 friends on facebook that are around my age, got married either around the time I did or more recently, and have had at least one baby at this point (many are starting to announce the second round of baby making). There are about a dozen more that I'm just waiting for.
Anyway, yesterday I got another negative result on a pregnancy test and today I just feel like I can't handle things anymore. So, yeah, if I don't seem that excited about life, I'm sorry, I'm trying, but I'm having a hard time right now. If you recently got pregnant I am excited for you, although I may not be showing it very well, I promise I am excited and happy for you.
In other news, I've decided that I need to discover the secret to patiently waiting for a baby to come. When I find it I'm going to write a book and it's going to look something like this:
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| I'm sure there's some kind of copyright infringement here, but I'm not in the mood to care |
You are what, in your early 20's? I'm turning 28 this year. Instead of people announcing their first babies (although there is plenty of that), I have people announcing their 4th. I'm not even in happy Mormon land!! I'm not saying this to say my situation is worse, but just want to let you know you are not alone. We've been officially trying since September... and nothing. To make it even better, I've had a grand total of one period since then. (Sorry about the TMI, if that bothers you.) So not only have all the pregnancy tests come back negative, I don't even know if/when I can get pregnant. I feel like a failure. It seems like every time I get on facebook someone new is announcing a pregnancy (especially since I've had FOUR announce in the last week). I get depressed every time. I'm not even looking for this stuff - it's just there in my news feed! I feel a little bad that I start removing them from my newsfeed, but I just can't look at every single prego update while I'm unable to do the same. And if I complain then I'm just a whinner, I'm hurting someone's feelings, or even better - "When you stop worrying about it, it'll happen." I want to punch people that say that. So I hope you don't mind that I've ranted here a bit on your blog - it's nice to know that I'm not the only person going insane.
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