Wiggle-Worm

So, in church yesterday I was observing my visiting teaching companion's baby.  She is 3 weeks younger than Evie-Cakes, and superly cute!

What I've noticed, in the few months that I've known her, is that she has a MUCH different disposition than my child.  I've been thinking this whole time that maybe it's just 'cause she's younger, and that as soon as she caught up to where Evie was, she would act similarly... But it's not looking like it, lol!  I watched as this cute little girl just sat through sacrament meeting and sunday school, reclining in her daddy's arms, silently taking in the world around her.  Every once and a while she would quietly babble and so her dad would stand up with her. 

At least I THINK that's what I saw. 

I couldn't tell you for certain because at the time Evie was trying her best to give me shaken-mommy-syndrome. 

I can not remember the last time that Evie would let us put her in an even slightly reclined position... Even before she started sitting up she NEVER wanted to be down!  Evie spent sacrament meeting, talking, bouncing, wiggling, trying to pull herself into a standing position using my hair and my shirt, grabbing everything in sight, and trying to eat whatever she could get her mouth on.  Then she passed out half-way through sunday school to recharge for another hour of fun!

All in all, I think it's safe to say she is her daddy's daughter.

I love that she is so active, but it does kind of make me wonder what it would be like to have such a mild mannered baby!  I'm honestly a little nervous about my future with this little bouncing ball of energy (heaven help me when she learns to crawl!!!), but at least I know it's definitely not going to be boring ;)

For Fathers of Unborn Children: the Complete Guide to a Happier Spouse

 

Dear fathers of unborn children.  Your wife is pregnant.  Please cut her some slack.  In fact, please cut her as much slack as is humanly possible.  In the first three or four months the fact that there is a little tiny person taking over your wife’s entire life might be completely incomprehensible to you (and heck, you may even be in denial), but it’s something she is reminded of every second of every day.  

Have you ever had another person decide to take up residence in your body (which you’ve had to yourself for 20 odd years) and suddenly start calling all the shots?  Well let me tell you, for the first bit it’s kind of like having the worst roommate ever.  Chances are, your wife is feeling sick, puking, not feeling like eating even if she can, having a lot of mood swings (no, she can’t control them), has to pee all the time, and is extremely tired.  There are a few variations, and some women have it easier than others, but a good rule of thumb is to treat her as if this is the case.

So, since I hear guys aren’t mind readers, here is what you need to be doing:

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•  If you know what your wife likes when she isn’t feeling great, do it.  LOTS of it.  Unless she says otherwise.  Some good ideas are foot/back massages, watch her favorite movie with her, cuddle on the couch and talk, buy her flowers unexpectedly, write her a note, etc.

• Be willing to talk about the baby and the pregnancy, in fact, be the one to bring it up.  Talk to her about the future, how she feels about the pregnancy, etc.  Most likely she’ll do a lot of the talking, but it will mean a lot to her that you’re showing interest.

•  Chances are, if your wife does certain things to make you feel better when you are sick, she’ll be happy to have you do the same for her.  Think really hard about how you like to be taken care of while you’re sick, or things that you liked your mother to do back in the day, and do it for your wife!

• Be really patient and remember, she isn’t feeling great even if you can’t really see it all the time.

• Offer to let her take a nap.  (This is in bold because I think it's super important!!!).  If she has chores she needs to do or dinner to make, offer to do them for her so she can take a nap.  If she tries to refuse, insist (lovingly).  This is especially crucial if you already have a child, offer to take him/her out of the house for an hour or two so she can get some rest without hearing her child in the background.  Mommies have a hard time taking a break if they are constantly reminded that their child might need them.

•  Please be sympathetic.  It’s a lot like having a mild case of the flu for three-ish months, I’m assuming you’d be pretty cranky if you were in her place.

•  Be sympathetic to her mood swings.  Her hormones are seriously running the show at this point, if she gets cranky at you, say you’re sorry for making her upset, offer to talk about how she’s feeling, and ask if there is anything you can do for her.  If she bursts out crying unexpectedly, just hug her and tell her you love her.  In general, it’s not a good idea to ask her what’s wrong, because she might not know, and that might just make her cry more.  I know this sounds like I’m asking a lot, but the most important thing you can do is to act sympathetic and caring, even when she’s acting crazy.  You are a manly man, I know you can do it.

• If there is something that she says she wants to eat, get it for her, quick!!  If your wife is one of the (un)lucky ones who can barely eat during the first part of her pregnancy, it’s really important to get her anything she thinks she can/wants to eat when she says she wants to eat it.  Important tip, she may not want it for long, so do your best to get it soon, or figure out what the next craving is.

• Tell her often how much you love her and how much you appreciate the sacrifice she’s making to bring your baby into the world!

•  Bottom line?  Be willing to make a lot of concessions for her for the next several months, pregnancy doesn’t last forever, just hold on and try to make it the best experience possible.

You may think I'm absolutely crazy, so you'll just have to trust me on this one.  I know this sounds like a lot to put on your plate, especially if you’re working or going to school full time (or both!!), just know that it will be soooooo worth it!  You don’t have to do all of it at once either, just make an effort, and I promise it WILL pay off.

Back to Business

After about five months of being home and giving Evie my complete and undivided attention, it's time for me to go back to work (ish)!

Today I started my internship with Welcome Baby (an awesome program through UnitedWay), which I'm super excited about, but having to leave my baby (who still wants to eat every 2 hrs) everyday is definitely nerve-wracking!!  I was nervous this morning, but I ended up coming home to a super happy baby who really enjoyed her morning with daddy :)  That was a little surprising.  I was really expecting a baby who desperately wanted to eat, and needed her mommy, but when I walked in she just looked at me, got a huge grin on her face and went right back to playing. lol.

Something else that kind of surprised me was how much I enjoyed being away from her.

Don't get me wrong, I love her, I love being a mom, and I did miss her, but it was so incredibly nice to just be me again!  I'm no longer a "me"; motherhood has totally and completely transformed me into a constant "we".  I sometimes feel like I'm nothing more than Evie's porter, chair, bed, entertainment center, jungle gym, pacifier, security blanket, and food supply. 

While I was gone I didn't have much of a chance to think about her, and knowing she was at home in good hands left me free to get back to being a real person again!  It was kind of amazing.  I seriously recommend new mommies (or any mommy) get some time out of the house to just do the normal stuff they used to do!  Even if it's just an hour a week to take a community class, or work out, or something, it's so good to have a tiny part of your life that's not totally centered on that little one.

I am still kind of nervous since I'll be leaving her for a few hours a day, and I can't wait to get back to her full time, but I think this is really going to be a good experience for all of us :)